As one legendary XII blogger once said: if golf were easy, it would be called your mom. Still holds up.
Meanwhile, reports have surfaced that some league members are… unhappy. Truly shocking. Investigations are underway, but early findings suggest it cannot possibly be because of the drive. After all, it was moved to be closer, and by every measurable standard, it is in fact closer. You can’t really argue with physics.
It’s also definitely not the food. Weekly specials? Check. Accommodating staff? Check. Porch seating? Check. You can dine like royalty, if royalty specialized in second-guessing every club choice and reliving triple bogeys between bites.
So what’s left? Ah, yes. Early-season golf. The annual tradition where expectations are high, and scores are somehow higher. Right now, the scores are doing a lot more talking than the swings but give it time… things should settle down. Probably. Maybe. For some, though, happiness may remain just out of reach like a ten-foot putt that never had a chance but was absolutely read as “inside left.”
Now, onto the action…
Peter stepped in for Rayburn and delivered a performance best described as aggressively average, carding a smooth 51 and, in the process, fully absorbing Rayburn’s golfing essence, now carrying that unmistakable scent of middle-of-the-pack mediocrity like a badge of honor.
Brady, fresh off a magical weekend 76, has officially re-entered the Earth’s atmosphere. That round is now being classified somewhere between “urban legend” and “complete fabrication.” This week felt more on brand.
Bedell made his return and wasted no time leaving his mark, both on the scorecard and embedded deep within the fairway. Eyewitness accounts describe “chunks” of grass being launched with little regard for their eventual whereabouts. Grounds crews responded swiftly and have since filed an official missing persons report for several large sections of turf. At this time, recovery efforts remain ongoing.
Doty finally accomplished the impossible: he went to the correct course first. Progress! Unfortunately, that’s where the productivity ended, as no scorecard was turned in. A bold strategy, can’t record a bad score if you don’t record a score at all. But wait, it gets better.
His opponent, Crowe, apparently decided that keeping score in real time was more of a “suggestion” than a requirement. In summary: we had one guy who didn’t turn in a card, and another who treated scoring like a memory exercise. Truly elite coordination.
In other words, it was a perfectly normal week in the XII Golf League.
So here’s to Week 5:
- Pins that never move
- Scores that definitely do
- Porch-side dining excellence
- Selective scorekeeping
- And just enough grumbling to keep the spirit alive
If the season has taught us anything so far, it’s this: nobody has figured it out. Not one person. And honestly, that might be the most comforting part.
Or not.
See everyone next week! Bring your swing, your patience, and preferably, a pencil.